The Five Horseshoes

Overheard on the hash (16th June 2015)
“Be careful of the cows in the field, let your dogs off the lead" [Rob cautions] "Why, we often run through fields with cows?"[The Hash questions] "Well, one of them broke my wife's back last week" [Rob cautions] more forcibly] "Ah....Matt R, you go first" [The Hash nominates the 'Cow Wrangler' to clear the way]

“Hang on, maybe somebodys on the 'udder' line?" "Are you sure you haven't mis-herd?"[The Hash has fun listening in to Sandra's cow hotline updates from Audrey]

"Nah, it's OK, just a load of cows with their calves" [Hawkeye, bestriding a stile, pronounces the field ahead 'safe'] "What's that big white one over there with horns then?" "Ah, that might not be a cow"[The Hash disagrees & Hawkeye demurs]

"This is one 'L' of a run" [Mark's years of waiting for an 'L' on the trail finally pays off] "That's not an 'L' - it's an 'F'" [Matt brings Mark's joy crashing down to earth] "Sh*t, is it too much to ask for an 'L'?!"[Mark takes it well]

"The 'F' actually stands for 'Fort' if you'd listened to the briefing" [Mark stands corrected] "Not much of a Fort is it - I mean, you can go over it and round it...it's a rubbish Fort" [Mark refuses to stand corrected for long]

"I remember when this was all fields.."[Paul gestures expansively across the valley] "But it's all fields now Paul?" [Matt & Andy query this statement]"I meant even more fields" [Paul stands firm] "Ah, would that be when the Brakspear Brewery was still open?" [The Classic Phrase makes a long-overdue reappearance]

"O-arrr..Shiver me timbers!" [More Captain Hook-Norton than the classic villain - Hawkeye puts on his best pirate]