The Belle Vue

Hummery: ‘Beautiful view’ - that’s the translation from French - and having been promised ‘beautiful views’  on this hash (the upper window of an apartment on the Rye aside) the sight of this City-centre pub hoving back into view after a 6-mile Arctic run was indeed most welcome. Eclectic, quirky, toasty - if it’s character you’re after, just turn right out of the train station and you’re here already....sod the 6-mile run!

Overheard on the hash (19th January 2016)

‘So Kev’s not feeling very well after last week’s hash, is he? I call that karma’  / ‘I call it a chest infection, but have it as you will’  Kev’s physical well-being is discussed with concern by the survivors of the ‘Stokenchurch Somme’ but Helen (his colleague) ‘leaps’ to his defence. Or rather ‘moves slowly’ towards his defence.

’There’s a new symbol on this hash;  ‘V’ is for ‘View’ [15 minutes later, 30 hashers come to a check, and turn to point their lights at a man’s bare bottom in an upstairs flat across the way] ‘That is NOT the View I was referring to….ON ON !!!’  [Tash struggles to retain control of the mob]

‘You can see my house from here’ [wearied sigh of resignation from the Hash, having heard this from the top of every single hill in The Chilterns]‘No, look! You really can see my house from here - it’s just over there….right there!’

‘You’d better tell your missus to shut the curtains Ade - otherwise that’s not all we’ll be able to see from here!’

[Cue a hasty phone call from Ade]

‘If you see an ‘X’, that’s not a False, but you have to stop because there’s a barrier ahead’ / ‘Why not just look for barrier? / ‘Because we put the ‘X’ there as a warning / ‘What if you’re too busy looking at the ‘X’ to see the barrier?’ / ‘Shut up! ON ON!’  [Tash tires of the constant questioning of the Hash]

My stomach’s cold. I thought that would be a good thing, showing how lean I was, but Jen told me that it’s the fat bits which get coldest first’ [Ian’s dream of being lithe and slim are brought down to earth by his medically-trained wife] ‘Well I’m freezing all over, so that doesn’t bode well for me’? [Matt’s dream of being lithe ended a long time ago] ‘So I said to her “Oy chubby! Have a look at your fat bits first eh?” / ‘Ha - hilarious, I’ll put that in the write-up’  / ‘No….please don’t! I didn’t really say that - it was just my inner monologue…..but I forgot to keep it quiet’ [Ian contemplates a few nights alone in the spare room]

‘Ohhh….Paul nearly moosed there!’/ ‘What is his hash name again?’  ‘How about Crash Test Dummy, on the grounds that if we send him down a path first and he stays upright, then everybody else should be OK?’ [Matt & Andy discuss Paul’s hashing abilities….right in front of Paul]

‘My real hashing name is “Spy’”if you must know, on the account that I once used to go to 4 or 5 hashes a week’ / ‘You sure you don’t mean “I Spy’” as in “I didn’t Spy that root sticking up?’”’/ ‘Was this in the days when Brakspear was still brewing in Henley?’ / ‘Ha, very funny - bugger off!’ [Paul seeks new conversation back in the pub]