The Old Bell

Hummery: A friendly foodie pub, welcoming hashers, dogs, and errant Mexicans.  Average prices, below-average beer, above-average chips….so on the whole, about average.

Overheard on the hash (10th November 2015) 

“Dick & Rash” [Helen’s predictive text becomes a mite too predictive….or perhaps a bit too close to home?]

“Ohh, there’s a new game, Hash Pairings: Sarah & Ant = Santa…..Nicky & Zak = Nik Nak……Roger & Roz…..hmmm, that just stays the same as Roz, but then she is the dominant half isn’t she?” [Hours of fun beckon for the Hash Pairing Game]

“I started hashing around the Haiti Earthquake appeal…about 4 years ago.” “No Hawkeye, that was back in Jan 2010, almost 6 years ago” “Really, I must have lost a couple of years then?”

“Helen stopped to show me how to do up my top. She was very good you know - she rolled it up, and tied it round my waist for me. ‘Anything else I can help you with’ she then asked? How about the facts of life?”  [cue Helen sprinting away from Hawkeye across a field]

“Put a titty in your mouth [Roger gets carried away in verse for Phil’s 500th run without Roz to rein in his more ‘artistic’ elements]

“Owing to an administrative error, we gave Phil his 500th tankard on his 450th run” “That’s quite a cock-up Roger, being out by over a year…..can I have my 1,000th t-shirt then?”

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-hashion” [Mark begins to rip apart an old classic Bowie song in the search for a new Hasthem ‘Hash Anthem’]

“Follow the flour….Shut that gate!” sung in the style of Larry Grayson [the Hasthem worryingly begins to take shape]

“Barney, how’s the Hash Cash looking? I was wondering whether we could buy a Hash Pub now that the 3 Horseshoes on Wycombe Rd has closed down…?” [Mark gets going....]

“I know what! A home for Retired Hashers, for when they can no longer follow the flour but have to be led on a short circuit of the grounds? We could get Benny Hill-style nurses and....."  [Mark keeps on going....]