The Crown

Hummery: What is it about Stokenchurch and extreme hash conditions eh? Luckily The Crown provided a haven of respite from elements, with friendly service, decent beer, and enough chips to feed a royal retinue.

Overheard on the hash (15th March 2016)

It's 5 and a bit long" [Ken addresses the cold, huddled masses in the car park] "How many Kenometers is that?" [The Hash choruses as one]"Ah, I don't think I specified the units, did I?" "So what are we talking about here.....miles, days, fatalities?"

"Yes, I remember yelling the words 'I beat the bishop!' at the top of my voice as I crossed the finish line....and as soon as I had, I realised what I'd done [Dick explains how the restraining order came to pass]

"Does this look familiar Kev? It's the gate you couldn't find on your hash [Kev ignores the baiting and goes off to 'enthusiastically' check up a hill] "Kind of like the Stokenchurch Triangle, where people disappear and are never found again" "Or that could just be one of Ken's hashes....?" [The Hash muse the vagaries of Stokenchurch in Kev's absence]

“What ye doing Hels?” [as Helen performs a strange 1-legged yoga style stretch whilst standing] “I’m stretching my glutes - they’re rather tight” “Your what?”  “My glutes”  “Sorry, didn’t hear you….?” “Look, I’ve A TIGHT ARSE, OK?” “Well, I know you’re not exactly renowned for being overly generous, but still……” [insert unprintable reply from Helen]

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many hashers stretching on a run”  “Well, it is one of Ken’s runs, so it’s more preventative than anything else”

"What's your hash name Aaron?" " Whenever Roger mentions that, I just look at him and growl." "Oh, so Poppy it is then....although technically that's already been taken hasn't it?"

"I really shouldn't be eating these chips". "Why Kev?" [The table stops munching and pauses for a second...] "Well, Kerry's cooking for me, so I've got a chicken pie and mash at home waiting for me....don't worry though, she'll never know" [Kev's ability to consume 2 meals remains undimmed] 

Rogette’s Of The Week

None apparently - Roger was very well-behaved, and even his whistling was considered this week